So Much To Bear (A Werebear Erotic Romance) Page 9

  Jennifer finally found the cliff that housed Damon’s cave and stopped, taking a few deep breaths. Even if he wasn’t there, she told herself firmly, she couldn’t assume the worst right away. He could be going about his normal routine. She wouldn’t know for sure until she had checked every one of the sites she knew about, until she had seen no evidence of his activity in the forest. Jennifer climbed up slowly, pausing frequently to still the trembling of her hands as she made her way towards the cave. She didn’t want to discover that Damon might be dead. She almost decided against trying to find him, almost decided that she should just go back to college and have done with the whole thing, consign Damon to a corner of her heart and move on with her life.

  But somehow, she thought, if the situation were reversed, Damon would have sought her out. The idea of Damon searching for her in the town was slightly ludicrous; but if he had seen her attacked in the forest, and had known she had disappeared shortly thereafter, Jennifer thought that he would have begun searching for her right away. He would have come to her assistance and taken care of her. But then, she thought, doubting herself once more, Damon was used to taking care of himself. He might have just written her off entirely.

  She came to the landing and the entrance of the cave and steadied her breathing, trying to suppress the rapid, rabbit-like fluttering of her heart. She had to look, she had to know. Jennifer took a deep breath and reached out, pulling aside the curtain in one quick jerk, like ripping off a band aid. The sight that greeted her was not what she had expected—not in her wildest hopes or most desperate fears. The cave wasn’t just empty of Damon; it looked as though it had been entirely cleared out. The furniture was gone, the planks that had made up the floor absent, even the hearth cleaned out as if it had never held a fire before. There was no sign at all that Damon had ever lived in the cave, barely a sign that it had ever been tenanted. Jennifer bit her lip; she knew for a fact that Damon had lived there, she knew from the curtain that she hadn’t missed his cave, that she hadn’t come to the wrong place. It was clearly Damon’s cave, and just as clearly, Damon was no longer living in it.

  The fact that it was so empty seemed to imply to Jennifer that Damon at least was alive. No one else would have taken the trouble to clear out his cave; the people of the town would have just destroyed everything, or left it alone. No one would have cleaned it so considerately, to almost suggest that Damon had never existed or lived there. On the other hand, Jennifer thought, the thoroughness with which it was cleared suggested that Damon was long gone from the area. He had probably gone on to another place, maybe deeper in the woods. Or maybe, she thought, he had left the area altogether, to find other werebears, or to simply get away from such a dangerous place. But she couldn’t let herself give up the hunt for him. If he was alive, then she would have to find him if it was at all possible. Jennifer steeled herself and turned on her heel, making the climb down from the cave and back to the ground level of the woods, trying to remember where she knew his different chore sites were. Where would he be at this early hour? Would he be washing clothes, or would he already be at his snares? Jennifer decided to follow the same track she had taken at Damon’s side the week before.

  She came to the river and didn’t see him; turning around and around, she remembered where his concealed clothing line was and headed in that direction. When she pulled the branches that concealed the drying line back, however, there were no clothes—not even the line itself. She sighed; it was only further proof that Damon was totally gone from at least this section of the woods. She could spend days searching for him and never find him. But Jennifer reminded herself that she was going to go to all of the sites where Damon did his chores. Two locations didn’t mean anything; he might still be in the process of packing up. He might have only moved some of his personal effects to another part of the woods. He might still be there, might still be around and willing to see her.

  Jennifer followed the trails until she came to the berry bushes he had stripped for her the first morning they’d been together; they were starting to show new growth, a promise of renewal, but she could see where the berries had all been plucked. Jennifer located the first of the places where the snares were hidden and pulled aside the underbrush to reveal it; like the clothesline and like Damon’s cave, it was empty—the snare gone completely. The next trap revealed the same situation, and for a moment Jennifer considered just coming to the conclusion that Damon had left her life for good, and moving on as best as she could from that. But she forced herself to see through her trek in the woods. She would hit every last one of the places where she thought Damon could be, and if she found no evidence of him whatsoever, she would decide that he was better off without the added complication of her in his life—and that he had already decided on the same point.

  She went to the place where he had charmed the bees with smoke, keeping a distance from the active hive; she couldn’t even find the smoking bundle that he had used, even as she searched the undergrowth where it might be hidden. She climbed up to the cliff he had fallen from, wondering if there was any sign of what had happened; it had been a windy few days, with a spattering of rain, since Jennifer had walked out of the woods in the wake of the mob that had nearly killed Damon, and there was not even the faintest trace of blood to inform her of what had happened.

  She decided that Damon had moved on, and that she had better do the same thing, if she wanted to hold onto her sanity. Jennifer made her way slowly back to the cave, climbing up to the landing and sitting in front of the curtain for a long moment while she caught her breath. The day had warmed slightly, and the layers of clothes she had put on, combined with the physical exertion she had gone through to search the woods for Damon, had left her sweaty and exhausted. Her stomach growled and she bit back tears at the memory of Damon curtly informing her that her stomach was making enough noise to scare away prey before feeding her the ripe, rich berries. It was all gone. She had to come to terms with that fact. She would never see Damon again.

  Jennifer took a deep breath, thinking about what was left to do before she left the town. She might as well return to her dorm, even though the building would be nearly empty for several more days; she had told everyone she was going back to campus, and she didn’t want the questions that would arise if she stayed at home while she waited for classes to resume. The loneliness would actually suit her current state of mind. Jennifer stood and made the climb down from Damon’s cave, trying to feel less deflated than she was. It had only been a few days; she was stupid to think that she was really and truly in love with Damon. She had only spent one day and two nights in his company—and only one of those nights had included sex.

  Jennifer looked up as she turned back towards the woods itself, feeling a weird twinge of precognition. As she peered into the trees, she saw a figure bathed in shadow. Jennifer started initially. Someone must have seen her, and followed her into the woods—but how she hadn’t noticed the person watching her until now was beyond her. Or maybe, Jennifer thought with rising panic, someone was in the woods looking for Damon as well, and they had seen her. Jennifer’s throat and mouth went dry and she thought of what she should do. If it was Liam or one of the members of the town who had been involved in the mob, she knew that she wasn’t willing to hold back—she would see them and immediately her fear would transform into rage, knowing that because of that person, Damon had been wrenched from her life. If it was Robert, she didn’t know what she would do.

  The figure shifted, and Jennifer’s eyes widened as light began to fall, highlighting a pair of shimmering golden eyes. The figure came out of the darkness, stepping through the trees, and Jennifer cried out as she saw that it was Damon, standing tall, looking as strong and kind as he ever had before. She fell to her knees in relief, closing her eyes. She almost couldn’t believe it was true; she thought for a moment that it had to be a figment of her imagination, that she had to be dreaming, the whole trek through the woods a setup to yet another tantalizing but unsat
isfying mental tryst with the man she cared about so deeply. But when she opened her eyes, Damon was still there, smiling shyly, his golden eyes full of kindness and affection.

  Jennifer leaped to her feet, uncaring of if she was imaging it all. Damon was right in front of her, and she wasn’t going to be apart from him for any longer than she could help. She ran towards him, throwing out her arms and almost colliding with him in her urgency to get close to him once more. Jennifer sighed with relief as she felt Damon’s strong, warm arms coiling around her tightly, pressing her body against his. There was no sign of weakness, no indication that he was anything other than completely recovered. “Oh god—Oh, Damon, I missed you so much,” Jennifer said, burying her face against his chest. “I didn’t know if you were really alive—I wanted you to be alive, but I couldn’t quite believe it.” She was shaking, and Damon’s arms tightened around her.

  “Shh, I know. I wanted… I thought about going into the town, trying to find you.” Jennifer pulled back and stared up into his golden, shimmering eyes.

  “They’d have killed you on sight!” Damon nodded, smiling wryly.

  “That was what kept me back, as much as it made me feel like a coward.” Jennifer rolled her eyes.

  “It’s not cowardly to avoid certain death—it’s smart. But how did you even manage to survive that?” Damon shrugged.

  “The wound wasn’t that deep. The fall was worse. But I somehow came back to myself and managed to crawl away.” Damon smiled slightly. “I was thinking about you the whole time. I hoped you would come back to find me.” Jennifer pressed her face against Damon’s neck, breathing in the lemon and earthy musk scent that clung to him.

  “I almost gave up hope. I thought for sure you’d moved on by now, that you’d decided to leave.” Damon stiffened against her slightly.

  “I have decided to leave. It’s not safe for me in this forest anymore.” Jennifer nodded.

  “That makes sense. I don’t want to hold you back.” Damon pulled her away from him, looking down at her.

  “I had hoped—I wanted you to be able to come with me. That was why I was waiting.” Jennifer’s eyes widened.

  “You want me with you?” Damon smiled slightly.

  “I know we haven’t known each other for a long time. But I can’t imagine being without you.” Damon pressed her body close to his once more, kissing her lightly on the lips. “But we should get out of here quickly.” Jennifer started to demur; no one knew that she was in the woods, no one would think to look for her. Everyone in town thought she was headed back to campus. They could take their time. But then, she thought, at any point someone could get curious; someone could decide to walk through the woods for a completely different reason. While the woods were big, it wasn’t impossible that they might decide to see if there was any sign of Damon’s body.

  “Okay, where are we going to?” Damon hesitated a moment.

  “I don’t… these woods are all I’ve known, my entire life.” Jennifer nodded. Damon had some education, and a great deal of woodsman skills gleaned from living off the land. For the moment, she would be able to float them, but they would need to find somewhere to be together more permanently.

  “Let’s get to the next town, and we’ll see what we can come up with from there,” she suggested. Damon nodded, looking relieved that she had a plan. They began the trek through the woods, and Jennifer thought back to the fateful trip that had landed her in the werebear’s life; her companion was as different as could possibly be—a man who knew the woods like the back of his hand, not just someone who tromped through on the occasional hunting expedition or used them as a short cut. The next town over from the one Jennifer had been raised in was not that far, and Damon’s possessions were light; he had gotten rid of his furniture and carried only his clothes, some food, and the few pieces he could stow in a knapsack.

  They took a break at the river, shielded by the low branches of a tree, and Damon opened up a sealed pot to reveal more of the rabbit stew that Jennifer had enjoyed so much, still warm. She smiled at the sight and they both ate from the pot itself, snagging morsels of potato and bites of tender rabbit and spooning up the juices. Damon took her on a path through the woods that was totally new to Jennifer, avoiding any of the areas that might have regular people from either of the towns. Jennifer feasted her eyes on the peaceful surroundings, stopping to examine flowers she had never seen, to pick berries that she shared with Damon. In spite of the fact that they were leaving their old lives behind, chased out of the woods and the possibility of their lives there together, there was something idyllic about the trek.

  Damon asked her about the next town. “We never really went far in that direction,” he explained. “My people knew some of the people from your town, but the other… they were total strangers to us. I don’t think they ventured into the woods that frequently, or they might have encountered us in spite of the way we tried to avoid regular humans.” Jennifer had been in the next town not frequently, but enough to have a general idea of where everything important was. She told Damon about her nights out in the other town, the friends she had made there.

  “Technically our school and the school there were ‘rivals,’ but none of us really took that seriously.” Jennifer grinned. “All of our pranks were pretty mild. We filled their school gym with soap bubbles during one homecoming week. They replaced our school banners with theirs. It was just a bit of silliness.” Damon had never gone to a regular school; he was hungry for details of what it had been like, dubious about the wisdom of a system of education that didn’t include any emphasis on knowing the land around them. When Jennifer explained her college years to date, telling him about her elective courses in self-defense and a few other ‘odd’ choices, he surprisingly approved them.

  “You know, you laugh but obviously taking self-defense classes was useful to you. I mean, Liam would have gotten a lot farther in his attempt to bend you to his will if you hadn’t had that training.” Jennifer had to admit that he was right.

  “It’s just that everyone always thought it was so silly. ‘Why would you need to learn that?’” Jennifer shook her head. “I figured at the time that I was going to be going to places where I couldn’t depend on the police to keep me safe.” She laughed. “I guess that was true enough.” That observation brought to mind the fact that her final semester at college would be starting in a little more than a week and a half, and Jennifer stopped herself from wondering just what would happen to her; she would never have thought that she could give up on the idea of getting her degree and going on to study other cultures—but how would she fit Damon into that life?

  They left the woods and walked into the new town, and Jennifer felt a wave of apprehension. She had her wallet with her—they had plenty of money at their disposal for the moment—but would they have heard about the “creature” and would the people of this town connect Jennifer’s appearance with a man in worn, weathered clothes with that incident? She took a deep breath and held onto Damon’s hand tighter, hoping that the news hadn’t managed to travel this far, and that even if it had, it wouldn’t be the kind of thing that anyone thought much of. “Let’s find a hotel to stay at,” she suggested.

  “I’ve never stayed at a hotel,” Damon said with a slight smile. “Obviously, I know what they are—but they always seemed strange to me.” Jennifer laughed.

  “They’re really quite normal if you’re used to them. Comfortable beds, for the most part.” She led him into the main part of the town. Jennifer tried to avoid making eye contact with the people of the town that they walked past, while trying not to look like she was avoiding eye contact either. Damon seemed much more at ease than she felt, which confused Jennifer; he had never really left the woods he had grown up in—he should, by all rights, be alarmed by the new town, by the sights and smells, by the strange people around them. But when she glanced at him, he was walking serenely by her side, his gaze directed at the buildings rather than the people, taking things in with int
erest but no remarkable wonder on his face.

  Chapter Nine

  Jennifer found a small hotel, more of an inn, that she knew was operated by one of the longstanding families in the town. She had stayed there on more than one occasion in her wilder college days, sleeping off a night of partying before she went back to her own home. The owners were discreet, and there was nothing remarkable about Jennifer arriving to stay the night. The long trek through the woods had taken them into the afternoon, and in a few hours, it would be full night. They would have to do something about food—Jennifer didn’t know just how Damon would feel about a restaurant or even takeout.